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I have decided that I ought to point something out. After living the complete hell year that I have lived this year up until April when I decided that I had had enough and was going to set things right in my life, I have also further decided that I'm sick to death of playing the 'smile and nod' game. I am a forward and outspoken person normally, and over the years, I have hidden that aspect of who I am to the point where I am even hesitant of expressing an opinion when I think it might cause conflict. In short. I stopped being the person that I am because who I am is not what other people seemed to want me to be.
Here's what I have to say to that. The hell with that! I'm approaching 40... though not in such a hurry to get there as to say rapidly approaching. I have no intention of having a midlife crisis when I reach 40.. frankly, because I do not consider 40 to be my mid life... I fully expect to live to 120... I know some of you laugh when you hear me say it, and think that I'm kidding. Know this: I mean it. When I reach 60, I might consider that mid life, but with another 60 years to go, I hardly see it as a crisis anyway. Be that as it may, I have some new (old) rules that some of you are going to need to know about. Let me preface this by saying that this is not directed at anyone in particular. I am in fact not angry, I just have something to say, and I'm going to say it and clear the air of it right now.
1) Don't fuck with me. I will not put up with it.
2) Don't expect me to mince words. If I have something to say, I will say it. I will say it exactly as I want to, and if you don't like it you are welcome to disagree with me.
3) DO NOT expect me to candy coat what I say to you. I am sick to DEATH of walking on eggshells with people who are OH SO DELICATE.
4) Expect the TRUTH out of me.
a) I had enough of telling big fat lies back in high school. I have no need for such things now I am an adult.
b) If you are too delicate to hear the TRUTH you may not want to ask my opinion.
c) If you turn your back on me as a friend because you disagree with me. So be it. I will miss you, but it is your choice. I am no longer going to give the easy answer for the sake of friendship, because my real friends do not WANT me to not be true to my OWN self.
5) Do not JUDGE me, my faith, my choices, or my life. If you feel you are obliged to judge me, then look at yourself first.
6) HYPOCRITES will not be tolerated. I suggest that if you plan to chastise me (see rule 5) that you be not have any imperfection yourself in the area of our discussion.
7) There is no such thing as coincidence. (aka Everything happens for a reason.)
8) I am an opinionated person. Often this journal is where I express my opinions about things. I will not publicly slam someone by name. If I have made 'vague' statements that you THINK might be about you, or have to do with you, I suggest that you ASK me before you get pissed off and cut me out of your life. Chances are it had nothing to do with you, but given that you think so, it might indicate that you have done whatever it I'm ranting about yourself, and it might behoove you to review rule 6. See rule 7 too while you're at it.
9) I do not like it when people a) lie to me b) try to candy coat things c) judge me. See rules 3, 4 and 6.
10) I will be MY SELF.
Well those are my top 10... and see rule 7 while you're at it. It's an important rule.
One final thing... just an opinion that needs expressing... This David Lanz new age version of Bus Stop is ... odd... and I wish to the goddess that I could find a decent independent shoutcast station, and a decent (reliable) industrial station too. (i.e. one that didn't break into some bizarre and boring crap after about 2 good songs sending me searching for another station.) I like New Age, but sometimes I like a little change. I just changed from the Sky FM station to this one because S K Y was getting too damn repetitive.... I sure would like to hear some Lisa Gerard... I'm pretty damn sick of hearing nothing but Arkenstone, Lanz, Yanni, and Jarre... all of which I like... but man.. you can get tired of only having 4 artists to choose from.
Here's what I have to say to that. The hell with that! I'm approaching 40... though not in such a hurry to get there as to say rapidly approaching. I have no intention of having a midlife crisis when I reach 40.. frankly, because I do not consider 40 to be my mid life... I fully expect to live to 120... I know some of you laugh when you hear me say it, and think that I'm kidding. Know this: I mean it. When I reach 60, I might consider that mid life, but with another 60 years to go, I hardly see it as a crisis anyway. Be that as it may, I have some new (old) rules that some of you are going to need to know about. Let me preface this by saying that this is not directed at anyone in particular. I am in fact not angry, I just have something to say, and I'm going to say it and clear the air of it right now.
1) Don't fuck with me. I will not put up with it.
2) Don't expect me to mince words. If I have something to say, I will say it. I will say it exactly as I want to, and if you don't like it you are welcome to disagree with me.
3) DO NOT expect me to candy coat what I say to you. I am sick to DEATH of walking on eggshells with people who are OH SO DELICATE.
4) Expect the TRUTH out of me.
a) I had enough of telling big fat lies back in high school. I have no need for such things now I am an adult.
b) If you are too delicate to hear the TRUTH you may not want to ask my opinion.
c) If you turn your back on me as a friend because you disagree with me. So be it. I will miss you, but it is your choice. I am no longer going to give the easy answer for the sake of friendship, because my real friends do not WANT me to not be true to my OWN self.
5) Do not JUDGE me, my faith, my choices, or my life. If you feel you are obliged to judge me, then look at yourself first.
6) HYPOCRITES will not be tolerated. I suggest that if you plan to chastise me (see rule 5) that you be not have any imperfection yourself in the area of our discussion.
7) There is no such thing as coincidence. (aka Everything happens for a reason.)
8) I am an opinionated person. Often this journal is where I express my opinions about things. I will not publicly slam someone by name. If I have made 'vague' statements that you THINK might be about you, or have to do with you, I suggest that you ASK me before you get pissed off and cut me out of your life. Chances are it had nothing to do with you, but given that you think so, it might indicate that you have done whatever it I'm ranting about yourself, and it might behoove you to review rule 6. See rule 7 too while you're at it.
9) I do not like it when people a) lie to me b) try to candy coat things c) judge me. See rules 3, 4 and 6.
10) I will be MY SELF.
Well those are my top 10... and see rule 7 while you're at it. It's an important rule.
One final thing... just an opinion that needs expressing... This David Lanz new age version of Bus Stop is ... odd... and I wish to the goddess that I could find a decent independent shoutcast station, and a decent (reliable) industrial station too. (i.e. one that didn't break into some bizarre and boring crap after about 2 good songs sending me searching for another station.) I like New Age, but sometimes I like a little change. I just changed from the Sky FM station to this one because S K Y was getting too damn repetitive.... I sure would like to hear some Lisa Gerard... I'm pretty damn sick of hearing nothing but Arkenstone, Lanz, Yanni, and Jarre... all of which I like... but man.. you can get tired of only having 4 artists to choose from.
