Cruelty is not Welcome Here

[ishte]

Ok... This is going to be short and sweet.... I might give more details tomorrow after I've rested.  It's been a difficult day.  Poor Little Star has been going back and forth between me and my daughter to comfort us by having us pet her.

My mom is in the ICU after undergoing emergency surgery early this morning.  It's very serious.  My dad was transported to Hospice this afternoon.  His condition is such that there is not enough we can do to ensure his comfort.  Mom was killing herself trying.

With all that is going on, my daughter and I do not have time or heart to deal what are by comparison very petty matters.  We are busy watching a man we have both loved intensely every day we have existed die day by day, and his beloved wife of nearly 60 years is too sick to be with him. That by itself is cruel enough for us without having it inflicted on us elsewhere.

Today was Dad's 78th birthday.  I don't know what tomorrow holds.

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[ishte.livejournal.com]

When I called this morning, they said they were real busy and she didn't have time to look up patient info for me. But I'm sure my brother would have called if she was any worse.

she had an ulcer the size of a nickel (which means that she's had it for a while) that perforated, so it was leaking bacteria into her body. They sewed it up, and now she has to stay in ICU so they can keep a very close watch on her for infection and so on. She may not get out of ICU until Monday or Tuesday, and She'll be in the hospital for at least a week.

Dad doesn't seem to mind that he's at hospice. He didn't argue about it this time, but before he did. So I think then he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to come home and would be there for weeks, and now it's just a matter of days. He hasn't started asking for mom yet. He's not fully cognizant of the passage of time (because of the medication)enough to miss her yet... but he will before long.

[ishte.livejournal.com]

Well... I'm sure you understand when I say he was afraid he would be there for weeks before he died... and now it's only a matter of days. He isn't coming back home from there. Mom can't continue to take care of him. But the room is very pleasant for him, and they are able to take better care of him than any one person can. Mommy should have been asking for help, and no matter how many times I asked her what she needed, she would not ask until Friday, she knew she had to call for help.

Today she seems to be doing pretty well. Obviously she is not allowed to eat for a couple of days yet, and will stay in ICU until then. I visited today and rubbed some Zims crack cream into her hands, which she has needed to use for months, and she agreed that it felt nice. *rolls eyes*

Our hope right now, is that Dad will last long enough for Mom to be well enough to come and sit with him a little before he goes. I think it would be terrible if he died while she was in the hospital unable to even see him.