Cruelty is not Welcome Here

[ishte]

Ok... This is going to be short and sweet.... I might give more details tomorrow after I've rested.  It's been a difficult day.  Poor Little Star has been going back and forth between me and my daughter to comfort us by having us pet her.

My mom is in the ICU after undergoing emergency surgery early this morning.  It's very serious.  My dad was transported to Hospice this afternoon.  His condition is such that there is not enough we can do to ensure his comfort.  Mom was killing herself trying.

With all that is going on, my daughter and I do not have time or heart to deal what are by comparison very petty matters.  We are busy watching a man we have both loved intensely every day we have existed die day by day, and his beloved wife of nearly 60 years is too sick to be with him. That by itself is cruel enough for us without having it inflicted on us elsewhere.

Today was Dad's 78th birthday.  I don't know what tomorrow holds.

Comments

[ishte.livejournal.com]

Mom is at Sycamore. Dad is at Hospice of Dayton. They don't have an ICU at Hospice. It's wholly geared towards caring for terminal patience with the goal being giving them as much comfort as possible in their final days. So Dad has not tubes and wires hooked up to him. They don't bother him all day long making him take this and that. He's dying. He doesn't need his heart medicine, his potassium medicine, his blood pressure medicine, his multitude of other meds. All he needs is his pain medicine, and ease, food if he wants it, and someone to keep him clean and comfortable. That's what Hospice does, and provides a pleasant room, and several sitting rooms for family too.

Mom is in Intensive Care. She has to be watched closely for now, and this is a completely different location than the Hospice. So for the moment, they are both right where they need to be. Hopefully Dad will last long enough for Mom to sit with him again... but hopefully not long after that. I'd hate for him to die while she's in the hospital though.

[marynachaotica.livejournal.com]

What I meant...perhaps they could move Dad over to where she is...have a bed in the same room with her. It would, on a deeper level, provide comfort for them both. It might make it easier on caring for Mom, because she wouldn't be fretting.

I would have been devastated if Gerry had died away from me & home...in some place filled with strangers. And I know your mom would feel the same way.

I must confess to being a a bit surprised that you two are at home, and not sitting with Mom and Dad.